The Intersection of Memory and Music
The latest installment of SongWriter, a podcast dedicated to the transformative power of turning personal narratives into song, features a profound exploration of family dynamics and the elusive nature of forgiveness. The episode highlights the work of filmmaker Ali Selim and musician Carla Kihlstedt, whose collaboration bridges the gap between lived experience and artistic expression.
Ali Selim, known for his directorial work, carries a complex legacy regarding his late father. Describing him as an erudite yet volatile figure, Selim notes that his father’s passing left behind a landscape of unprocessed trauma. Now a father himself, Selim possesses a nuanced empathy for his father’s struggles, yet he remains firm on the necessity of accountability. “My dad passed away ten years ago, and I still have a connection to him,” Selim shared. “But there’s no accountability there…and that’s what leads to forgiveness.”
The Weight of Truth and Restorative Justice
During a live performance hosted by FilmNorth, Selim read from a memoir-in-progress, detailing his father’s penchant for dishonesty—ranging from historical fabrications to legal distortions. Selim reflected on how these persistent lies eroded his own sense of reality, a burden that remained unresolved even in his father’s final days. When confronted about the violence and deceit, his father’s deflection—”Maybe. Could be. But why would you want to remember it that way?”—only underscored the distance between them.
The discussion was further enriched by Dr. Emily Gaarder, who provided insight into the principles of restorative justice. She noted that the difficulty of forgiveness is so profound that practitioners often refer to it as “the F-word.” According to Dr. Gaarder, the value in Selim’s narrative lies in its ability to offer a roadmap for healing when the perpetrator refuses to take responsibility. She suggested that forgiveness can be an internal process, a way of releasing a heavy burden, even when the traditional path of reconciliation is closed.
A Transformational Exchange
Carla Kihlstedt, a longtime collaborator of Selim’s who previously worked on the soundtrack for his film Sweet Land, found herself deeply moved by his writing. While composing the song “I Am a Fish,” Kihlstedt drew parallels between Selim’s personal journey and the broader, global stories of individuals caught in circumstances far larger than themselves, such as those involved in the Freedom Flotilla.
The live performance of the piece at FilmNorth served as a climactic moment for both artists. Selim intentionally avoided hearing the recording beforehand, choosing to experience the song’s emotional weight in the room. For Kihlstedt, the experience was a reminder of her purpose as an artist. “I felt like: this is why I am on the planet,” she said. “Occasionally you get an opportunity to do something in a way that only you could do it.”
Season seven of SongWriter is made possible by a grant from Templeton World Charity Foundation.
