The Intersection of Memory and Music
The latest installment of the SongWriter podcast, hosted by Ben Arthur, delves into the profound and often painful terrain of family legacy. This season continues its mission of transforming personal narratives into original music, this time featuring filmmaker Ali Selim and composer Carla Kihlstedt.
Ali Selim, known for his work as a director, brings a raw and vulnerable perspective to the table. He discusses his complicated relationship with his late father—a man he describes as erudite and cussed, yet prone to violence. For Selim, the passage of time has not necessarily brought the traditional closure many expect. “My dad passed away ten years ago, and I still have a connection to him,” Selim explains. “But there’s no accountability there…and that’s what leads to forgiveness.”
Navigating the Complexity of Forgiveness
During a live performance at FilmNorth, Selim shared excerpts from a memoir he is currently writing. The piece details his father’s tendency to rewrite history through lies, a habit that Selim notes deeply affected his own perception of reality. When confronted with these memories later in life, his father’s deflection—asking why one would want to remember things “that way”—highlights the friction between subjective experience and objective truth.
The conversation is further enriched by Dr. Emily Gaarder, an expert in restorative justice. Dr. Gaarder notes that forgiveness is frequently misunderstood, often labeled as the “F-word” in professional circles due to its immense complexity. She suggests that for individuals like Selim, whose primary antagonist may not be capable of taking responsibility, forgiveness becomes an internal process—a way to release the weight of the past rather than a transactional act of reconciliation.
“When you see forgiveness happen in a restorative justice where it is offered by the person who has been hurt, it can be a very transformational exchange.” — Dr. Emily Gaarder
Art as a Tool for Transformation
Musician Carla Kihlstedt, a long-time collaborator of Selim’s, found herself deeply moved by his writing. While working on the soundtrack for his film Sweet Land years ago, she developed a unique creative shorthand with him. For this project, she composed the song “I Am a Fish,” drawing parallels between Selim’s personal struggle and the broader, global stories of individuals finding their way through overwhelming circumstances, such as those involved in the Freedom Flotilla.
The live performance of the song served as a cathartic moment for both artists. Selim chose not to hear the recording beforehand, opting to experience the music for the first time in the room. “I felt like: this is why I am on the planet,” Kihlstedt reflects. “Occasionally you get an opportunity to do something in a way that only you could do it.”
Season seven of SongWriter is made possible by a grant from the Templeton World Charity Foundation.
