Splendour In The Grass gives birth to new STI super-virus

B-Side is our latest news section breaking the stories you won’t read about anywhere else. Hard hitting news f the back a truck that we published without fact checking.

A mass testing for Chlamydia at Splendour In The Grass confirmed what we’d all expected for a long time, that every festival goer is indeed riddled with the stuff.

After trading a , it’s believed that the 1000 revellers (who returned a 99% positive result) have now created a super-flu the likes which is unprecedented. All Splendour patrons are now being screened and possibly quarantined in a hope to avoid further outbreak.

The tent, while advertised as giving “piece mind” has now fered punters anything but, as no one is quite sure whether they’re safe or not after their sexual partner festival binge.

“We’ve never seen anything like it, who’d have known that a weekend long thousand person orgy would culminate in a super-virus, it’s the stuff movies” said Dr. F. Steevil, human biology expert.

In light current events and the birth what experts are now calling “Splendour-flu” we suggest everyone gets regularly tested and stays safe.